So, yesterday in church I played the piano for the Young Men/Young Women Program... and it was nerve racking!!! It is interesting because I can speak/dance in front of hundreds... Sing in front of THOUSANDS... I can play the piano and sing... and yet accompanying OTHER people on the piano makes me SO nervous! I think it's because when you have 10 fingers moving at the same time, you have MANY MORE opportunities to make mistakes, and I am kind of a perfectionist, so that idea is scary. Not only that, but you need to follow the lead of the singers... so when they start speeding up, you have to speed up to catch them, even if you didn't practice going that fast... and playing for others, it is a lot harder to cover mistakes. When playing for myself, if I lose my place in the music, I just hold my note a little longer that i'm singing, find my place, continue going, and no one has any idea. lol. I guess I am kind of a "closet pianist." It is one of my very favorite things to do, and an incredible way to express the emotions that you are feeling... but I have always been content to just keep this gift to myself, lol.
I accompanied the youth with an arrangement of I know that my Redeemer Lives, (and added arpeggios to make the music even more moving emotionally (to add to the natural build in the music)) and The EFY Medley ("As Sisters in Zion" and "Army of Helaman"), and they were absolutely gorgeous arrangements. I practiced them a hundred times to make sure that my "nerves" wouldn't affect the way I played, and it went fantastically...... EXCEPT for the fact that now everyone in the ward knows I play the piano.
Just as anticipated, as SOON as the meeting was over the Bishop comes to me and says, "I didn't know you played the piano so well! Do you play the organ too?" I was able to honestly and confidently smile as I told him "No," only for him to respond with, "But I bet you could learn...?" Gag.... Don't even think about it Mister!!!!! .... and Then I had four or five different people come up to me and say, "Wow, I didn't know you played the piano so well!!! I have this thing coming up....." Good Grief. And they wonder WHY I didn't want anyone to know I played the piano? lol. If I were the world's best sight reader, then it wouldn't be a problem to play.... but I am not, and I am a perfectionist... BAD combination. Accordingly, I practice 100 million times (a lot I know.... Jason can verify) before I perform anything.... so people get this perception that I am better at the piano than I really am, and then I get asked to play for more things which adds stress and time commitment ... seeing as how I have to practice 100 million times for each of the following performances. Vicious Cycle, I know.....
Is it so bad to just want Jason to buy my a grand piano (like the one in the picture) someday that I can just play by myself for hours and hours and never perform? lol.
Every week or even multiple times during the week people post free piano's on Craigslist. I'm always wishing we had room for one. You know - free is in our budget these days. Then I would practice tons and still not be able to play for people. Playing while other people sing makes me laugh and well laughing and playing the piano don't mix well.
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