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Wednesday, July 27, 2011

The Killer Kern

Apparently that is the Nickname for the Kern River in CA.

I know, I know….. A SUPER LONG POST.... A weekend of Whitewater rafting and no pictures to show for it. We fail. We didn’t want to risk having our nice camera fall prey to the rapids, though… so we opted for no pictures, but rather spoken memories. However, the problem with Spoken memories is the story seems to get more elaborate every time it is told. Accordingly, Jason and I felt it was appropriate to write this memory down for laughs….. and also in order to reign in and reduce the possibility of future “creativity” in it’s telling.
       Day 1 in the AM:
-       Arrive at 3 am and had to sleep (or toss and turn restlessly) in my two door car. After about 20 minutes I couldn’t take it anymore and laid down the seat so I could sleep in the trunk without suffocating J.
-       
White Water Rafting Tutorial Where they list ALL of the dangers involved and ALL of the ways you can hurt yourself…. Including the fact that 14 people have already died on the Kern River this year, due to the fact it’s flow is higher than they have seen in 7-10 years. (we later Found out all 14 of those people were on unguided tours, walmart or Costco rafts, and no lifejackets… go figure).
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By this point, I’m feeling pretty nervous seeing as how I have Never been Whitewater Rafting Before.
-       Natalie and Jon (sister and brother-in-law), Amanda and David (sister and boyfriend), Jason and myself plus the guide set off (along with 2 other boats full of Jason’s mom and her friends) on the adventure.
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The River was pretty mild, we were paddling together, our guide was super laid back, and we were all feeling pretty confident in our skills.
Day 1 After a Lunch Break:
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We were all starting to realize how tired we were, and our paddling unity started to slack
-       The difficulty of the rapids began to pick up (from previous 2’s and 3’s …. Now ALL Class 4’s!)

LET’S CUT TO THE CHASE:  HERE IS THE EXCITING PART!!!!!
-       So one of the boats flipped and two guys were caught in a Hole
-       (A Hole is a recirculating wave that the more you fight, the longer you will be there under water as it pulls you down over, and over, and over….. but if you stop fighting and ball up, you will sink to the bottom and be shot out)
-       This was super nerve racking to see because there was nothing we could do, because it was in the middle of the rapid. They could only save themselves by relaxing, and finally did.
-       
 A Few rapids later, Our guide is prefacing us by saying, “This rapid Is Named Horseshoe. It has the MOTHER of all Holes on it.  We are going to steer clear of it to ensure it doesn’t suck our whole boat in… but if you look to the right you will see it.”
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KEEP IN MIND---THE UPCOMING RAPID OCCURRENCE HAPPENED IN THE SPACE OF A FEW MINUTES, THOUGH IT FELT LIKE ETERNITY:
-       As we are going down the rapid at a hard angle, we go over the first rapid and it has a HUGE drop. I am air-paddling because the water is nowhere near, and totally topple off into the water with my paddle. Somehow, I grabbed my paddle in one hand and the boat in the other. As I’m hanging on for dear life and what seemed forever, I started freaking out in my head thinking, “Wait…. Am I supposed to hang on?  Or am I supposed to let go?  And Isn’t this the rapid with the Mother of all Holes?  AHHHHH!  I can’t let go! No way!”
-       My head comes up out of the water and the guide is having a heart attack as he is SCREAMING at the top of his lungs (which was a surprise because he had been so passive all day). He kept screaming over and over “Get her in the F’ing Boat, Get in the F’ing boat…..” (except he said the real words and not my abbreviations).
-       With HOW worked up he was…. Now IIIII am freaking out as I’m thinking, Oh my heavens…. Am I about to get sucked into the hole or smashed into a rock?  Is that why he’s freaking out?... I was totally getting myself worked up!!!. They then pull me out of the water, and LITERALLY, as soon as they pull me out of the water, the boat goes up on it’s side like it’s about to capsize. The guide falls in, Jason Falls in over my head, and I tumble in backwards AGAIN, grabbing the side of the boat as I go.
-       Now I am FREAKING out, and yelling over and over “GET ME IN THE BOAT!!  GET ME IN THE BOAT!!!” David or Jon (can’t remember who) pulls me into the boat, and I literally, flop onto the middle piece, shaking and hugging it as I try to re-center myself. It was SO crazy, because mentally I’m thinking, “you can’t budge, or you will go back in the water, just like last time.” After about 5 seconds,  I am up and ready to go again, grab a paddle, and notice Natalie, Jason, AND the guide still aren’t in the boat!!! We pull all of them back in, and were finally to a calm part in the River so we could talk about what happened.
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GET THIS…. Jason, myself, and Natalie ALL Fell out 2x each!  Plus the guide fell out!  Poor Amanda, Jon, and David, were running around like crazy (while on the rapid) trying to pull us in. On the first Bump, 3 of us fell in at the same time! THEN When the boat almost capsized, it was because it was on the edge of that enormous Hole and almost got sucked in…. but I guess having 3 of us fall in again rebalanced the boat so it didn’t capsize. CRAZY!!!!!
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Needless to say, we all got a few laughs that evening as we re-lived the experience together and talked about what was going through our minds.
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I’m embarrassed to admit, I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t sleep as I kept re-living falling into the rapid two times in my Mind.  One of the guides said, “Yeah, you had it pretty rough. Your situation would be traumatic because it’s like getting into a fiery crash, finally an ambulance comes and saves you, and as you’re driving away, the AMBULANCE then gets into a fiery crash!”….. and that about sums up how I felt inside.
-       HOWEVER, I was determined I was going to get back on the horse at least one more time, so I wouldn’t have a mental block....... ON A FUNNY NOTE:  The amazing thing about all of these falls, is not only were none of us hurt, but I managed to not lose my sunglasses!  They stayed on the face through two different falls! So funny.

DAY 2 of Rafting:
-       We were great and together because A) we all (well, most of us) had a full night’s rest and we only did a half day so we weren’t exhausted before we got to the FABULOUS FIVE (the 5 biggest rapids…. The ones that gave us problems the day before).
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The guide didn’t tell us when we were at Horseshoe. He just said, “This is my very favorite one (and we didn’t catch on, which is probably good).” Yes, there were a couple of big bumps….. And the rapid was AWESOME. Super fun….. so we were embarrassed when after it was over we were told it was Horseshoe, because it wasn’t nearly as scary as it was the day before.... Then again, it was a manifestation of how fun Whitewater Rafting can be when things are going smoothly, and HOW QUICKLY and EASILY they can become very scary and Dangerous.

We were glad to make some fun memories as a Family that we can laugh about for years to come now that it is over. I am glad I had the courage to get back on the horse and end on a positive note. But really, if I would have fallen in and been stuck in one of those “Holes”, on top of the experience the day before…. I probably would have NEVER touched even a toe in moving water again.  Glad we’re all Safe! Also Glad we were able to spend some time with the fam, and loved getting to know David better. He is so witty and fun.  

For your pleasure, the Link Below from youtube demonstrates a re-circulating wave on a Class 4 rapid, and a boat that gets stuck in it and dumps out it's passengers.... and entitled "They'll Never raft Again.".... super appropriate. lol.

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